A Middle Eastern Love Story
By Martin Accad
Director of the Institute of Middle Eastern Studies, Lebanon
Maryam was born a Muslim. Her society required her to live as a Muslim and eventually to die as a Muslim as well. Youssef was born a Christian. His society too required him to live and die as a Christian. But when they fell in love with each other, they came before a dilemma. Youssef would have to convert to Islam for their marriage to be legally recognized. Had they been Lebanese, another option would have been for Maryam to convert to Christianity as well, but not in any other Arab country, not in her country.
They could get a civil marriage outside the Arab world, in Cyprus or Turkey, but it would never be recognized legally in their country. And if the thought of living life together discreetly in quasi illegality was bearable, they could not bear the thought of bringing children into this world that would be considered illegitimate because born out of wedlock. Not only that, but their children would not even have a legal identity. No citizenship, no civil rights, no passport, forever trapped…
Maryam and Youssef wish they could suddenly wake up and realize this was just a nightmare. But sadly this is their reality, and they know that there are dozens of other couples in the same situation. The story, two years ago, of that other Maryam in Sudan remains etched in their memory: the way that she was imprisoned and how she received a sentence of lashings and stoning for adultery, even though she had been legally married to her Christian husband in another country. That other Maryam had to give birth to her second child in prison, and were it not for international pressure that forced her release and exile, the sentence would have been carried out.
Maryam and Youssef are my good friends. They are caught in this dilemma. In Arabic, marriage is often referred to with the endearing expression: ‘the golden cage.’ When they signed those papers in Cyprus, they knew they were signing off on their own sentence of a ‘civil cul-de-sac,’ an actual nightmare scenario for life! At this point, they don’t have much of a choice apart from emigration. If they don’t do it for themselves, they will one day have to do it for their children.
The story of Maryam and Youssef is the story of thousands like them. And in its assault on human dignity, it is the story of us all. It is also an insult to individual religious freedom. No one should be forced to change their religion, whether a Christian to Islam or a Muslim to Christianity, against their own conscience. Yet this will continue to happen unless we start fighting this sick insult to human decency called ‘religious registration.’
********************************************
Through this story Martin Accad calls our attention to a basic way in which tribal, sectarian societies limit the everyday freedoms of the people of the Middle East by requiring Religious Registration of all citizens. One of the implications of this practice is that all legal issues regarding marriage, divorce, adoption, etc. are handled in a religious court, with no civil options available. And changing one’s religion becomes a legal rather than a spiritual issue.
Through the Institute of Middle East Studies, as well as through a new center set up with two other friends (www.crga.org.uk), Accad seeks to bring into the open the injustices of such a system. The Centre on Religion and Global Affairs is a think tank which explores the relationship between religion and politics. By collecting case studies such as the story of Maryam and Youssef and engaging in conversations with religious leaders, intellectuals and policy makers, perhaps enough noise can be made to arouse public opinion and create a fundamental change in society.
He describes such stories as “the single most significant issue affecting the future of the Middle East.”
On the IMES blog site, Accad uses the story of Maryam and Youssef, to introduce a book, just published in the UK on January 10: Identity Crisis: Religious Registration in the Middle East by Jonathan Andrews. The book, written especially to help Christians and other minorities, explains the complexities of the problem and proposes solutions. Accad considers it a “practical blue-print for individuals, groups and governments seeking reform and transformation.”