This Middle East story is one I have wanted to bring to my readers for a long time. Ramona Sfeir is a person precious to me. I have one of her art objects, bought in the 1980s at an exhibit mentioned in this story, and it is one of my most valued possessions, because it is beautiful and because Ramona made it. But the most amazing work of art is Ramona herself. I am grateful to her brother Joseph Sfeir for writing this story just for us. It is twice as long as my usual blog, but you will NOT be tempted to quit reading. Also there is an invitation at the end. Frances Fuller
A Short Story of a Giant “Dwarf Tree”
In mid – March of this year I decided to obtain and raise a Dwarf Tree, naming it Ramona, after my youngest sister Ramona who just published The Dwarf Tree-her book in which she writes about her life experience with Polymyositis – (a rare disease that weakens and kills all body muscles gradually leading to pain and death). She chose to accept the challenge of life to become our model – our life inspiration. Ramona has become our own Dwarf Tree with a very genuine and rare beauty.
I was mesmerized by Ramona (my Dwarf Tree) and it became my daily Joie de Vie (Pleasure of Life) to check it and take care of it and cherish its natural beauty. Its twisted body reminded me of Ramona (my sister) and her life story resembled this Bonsai Tree.
I traveled away from Ramona (my Dwarf Tree) for over 40 days and during my absence I asked my colleagues to take care of it. I came back to find Ramona (my Dwarf Tree) naked and dying or that’s what I thought. I got closer and found out that it only lost its old dead leaves and new ones were coming out. It was born anew.
Similarly, Ramona (my sister), loses her old dead leaves and renews them through the seasons. I wrote the following short story about Ramona (my sister) hoping someone will find that little space of hope and renew their hope in our Heavenly Gardener, the one we call Jesus Christ.
Ramona started this journey in her early years, when signs of “lazy lips” showed on her smile. My parents took her to the best known doctors and numerous tests were taken, but most of them failed to detect this silent disease that was crawling to capture this little goat’s life (my grandfather nicknamed her Goat since she was very impish, climbing almost on anything and jumping from place to place, filling our large house with her lively twirling and “ballet” dancing). At age 11 and after a failed diagnosis, she had bone surgery on her left shoulder that damaged her muscles further and denied her the use of her left arm. Polymyositis revealed itself then in its ugliest form. It took Ramona (our little Goat) into a long life of captivity, pain and triumphs. Doctors at the American University Hospital of Beirut diagnosed it and told my parents that it was a very rare disease with no cure found yet, after running lengthy and very painful tests on Ramona and both my parents.
My mother told us about one of the tests that required doctors to take tissues of my sister’s cheek muscles, where they used more than 75 needles!
My parents were told that if Ramona survived she would live at most 5-7 years. Ramona overheard that news too. Tears eased the pain on her cheeks but couldn’t put out the fire that burned in her heart. She came to terms with life at a young age and asked God why all this was happening to her? She tried to find answers on the pages of the Holy Bible, and she read the verse where Jesus spoke about cutting fruitless trees or branches into the fire. This terrified her, thinking she was a fruitless tree because of her physical condition. She couldn’t jump, run or even walk without falling many times. We, her siblings, thought that she was “clowning” with us as she used to do, but then my mother explained to us what was happening and said that we had to support Ramona and help her get over it. We rose to the challenge although we didn’t understand then the deep and painful reality about Ramona’s condition. We thought that after a little while she will make a comeback and we can resume life as before. Little did we know!
Ramona had only two options and both were literally decisions of life and death. If she gave in to her disease she would sink into self-pity and despair and consequently void life and give in to death. If she accepted the challenge of life she would be swimming against the tide all of her life which meant extreme, enormous, restless, painful but fruitful life.
She chose to live. She rose to the challenge and decided that she was a fruitful tree. One that gives joy and fruits in due season. That was 45 years ago. That little “Goat” surrendered herself into the mighty hands of the Heavenly Gardener who transformed her into a “Giant” Dwarf Tree – as she nicknamed herself in her book. She wrote a whole chapter about Dwarf Trees and how the gardener works on them and shapes them into what he wants them to become -Giant little wonders that bring joy to the gardener and people surrounding them.
She dealt with her disease as a fact of life and accepted that if she was not getting cured of it she could overcome it by teaching and training herself to become a productive individual. At that stage of her life, the disease attacked all her muscles and the first ones that gave in were the hands and leg muscles which hindered her movement and she couldn’t move from one room to another without falling and had to have someone lift her up and support her until she reached her destination. Her muscles were dying and she had to always find new muscles and train them how to serve her entire body. Regardless, she taught herself how to knit, sew doll clothes (she was only 12 or 13 at that stage), draw on glass and paper, and that was what she excelled in the most. She developed her talent and her art through the years and crowned it with a magnificent exhibition of her drawings on clay jars, glass pots and plates. She was inspired by the songs of Fairuz, a prominent Lebanese/World Class singer, that described the beautiful scenes of Lebanon, the country she couldn’t see as she pleased. We, her siblings had to bring it to her. Whenever we went on trips, she was in our minds and we brought her back souvenirs or photos and told her about our little adventures.
Having to quit school at the age of eleven when she was in 6th grade, Ramona found no other alternative than to continue her education at home. She read magazines and books in both French and Arabic and later in English when she found out that languages and education were a window to freedom that could take her to the far places she always dreamed of. She even helped write our homework and excelled in it. I remember getting a couple of A+ grades on the French homework she helped me do.
She discovered that she was a fruitful person and she attacked life head on, learning and developing new skills and talents. Whatever she decided to do she accomplished it. She learned how to use a wheel chair and adapt it to her needs. When her leg muscles failed to move the wheel chair she learned how to use an electric wheel chair and how we enjoyed those lengthy walks following her, concerned that she might not steer her chair fast enough to move out of the way of cars.
Ramona became a tree planted on river banks… all she did succeeded. She became a fruitful tree. Her fruits were love, joy, endurance and consistency (whenever I think of a synonym to these words I think of Ramona). She never gave up no matter how hard the challenge was. If she couldn’t do it herself she would borrow our muscles and bodies to help her do it. She was and still is a good human resources manager. She knows exactly how to make people move around to help her execute what she wants them to do. She even taught her nieces and nephews how to draw, paint, make bracelets and bead necklaces, etc…
At the age of 25 Ramona decided to fulfill her long-held dream to have her own space- a house of her own. She took a loan from a not-for-profit organization and she bought the materials to build a small apartment on the roof of our family’s building in Himlaya, Lebanon. When asked who would build her house, she said ”you and me!” The “you” meant my father, my two brothers and I. “I will buy the material and you will lend me your muscles and know how to build it”. A few years later, Ramona inaugurated her little apartment by inviting a group of her friends with special needs. We had to lift them all up using the construction winch we used to lift the building material. She led the way and all of them followed her lead. They said that if Ramona can do this we all can. That was back in mid-eighties during the civil war in Lebanon when jobs were rare and money scarce and bombs tearing buildings down. Ramona was not only able to take a loan, but she paid it all back to the cent from selling her art work. She never accepted any financial aid from us. She wanted to be as productive as any other member of the family. I can never recall a day when Ramona was not active or productive.
Her house became a space of hope, an oasis of peace to all visitors. The best naps I ever had were in her house. I even moved to live with her for a while to help her whenever she needed. We had serene moments talking about life, hope, dreams, expectations and most of all about the heavenly and eternal love of Jesus Christ. My “Goat” sister became a mature and wise young woman. Although captured in her ailing body, her mind was free and soared like eagles. Her faith and morale were monumental. She knitted a special relationship with her Savior and she speaks to Him in her special way. She challenges Him, she blames Him, she argues with Him, she asks Him tough questions. Her ultimate demand is complete physical healing to accompany her spiritual healing. She never and will never give up asking Him to heal her body so she can glorify Him more. So far He has been glorified all the more with her ailing one.
She has been confined to her bed in her room for more than 13 years and has never left it except once when she was rushed to the hospital and almost died on the way there and again in the hospital. Ramona decided it was best to return to her house. I think she thought that if she was going to die it would be best if she died in her own space among her family and not as a number in a cold hospital room. Again she survived the ordeal.
Throughout her 56 years, Ramona heard death knocking on her door several times and at times banging it really hard. She refused to let him in. In 1997 while she was on her death bed in a hospital, my parents called everyone in the family and even called on the priest to come and do the last rituals and they even ordered a proper casket and started funeral arrangements, Ramona decided that it was not time yet because she still had some statements to make. She wanted to leave her mark and tell her story to the world. She wanted to bear more fruit. She started writing “The Dwarf Tree,” her book on pain, challenge and triumph through Jesus Christ. Again this last March death called upon her again and she was almost about to give in and invite him in. Then she realized that she wanted to wait for her book to be finished and released. It was released on her fifty-sixth birthday in March 2016.
The first copies that came out of press were sold out in less than 2 hours and the book scored high on the best seller book list in that book fair. At least 70% of the copies were sold out and she is considering a 2nd printing, though other publishers are having hard times selling books for their best authors. Her book is still ranking on top of the best seller list of the publishing house. There are demands to translate it into French and English.
Ramona has been fighting Polymyositis for 56 years (she was born on March 1960). She went through many stages and she adapted to each and every one of them. Her body gave in to the disease but never her soul, though it became captive inside a vicious cycle of rebellious terms and seasons of Polymyositis. She has not lost a battle in her war yet, always refusing death because she made her decision a long time ago and still has some statements to make.
Ramona would be pleased to have all of you who read this short story as friends on facebook. Her address is:
Ramona Sfeir
She will add you but due to her limited muscle power she may not be able to correspond with you as you’d expect or like to. Still she can see your posts and you can see hers.
She is looking forward to holding an art exhibition next summer of her watercolor paintings and is posting some of them from time to time on her facebook page. Please hold her in your prayers and let her know that you are. It will give her great pleasure.