Will I Lose My Personal Freedom?

Mildred knew the time was near when she should not live alone. She had lately locked herself out of the house more than once. That was a predicament! She frequently misplaced the credit card bill and had to pay a late fee. Not wanting to cook, she often ate a bowl of cereal and called it dinner. Everything had become more stressful: phoning the insurance company, finding a parking place, collecting the paperwork for the tax preparer. She also admitted to herself that she was a little bit afraid of slipping on the bathroom tiles; she had asked herself, What if?

But Mildred dreaded the idea of living in a retirement home.  She imagined it would be regimented, like the army. Everybody up at a certain time and to the dining hall, dressed for the public! And what if breakfast was pancakes when she was hungry for bacon and eggs?  She just wanted to make her own decisions: when to go to bed and when to get up, what to eat, which channel to go to for the evening news, as well as what to do with her money.

What Mildred didn’t know was the role of government in protecting the rights of the elderly in long-term care communities. If she would visit a few optional communities and chat with the residents about life there, she should discover that they have not lost control over their own lives.  She might discover that she has rights she had not even thought of, and in a home for seniors her rights are protected by law.

Every state in our country has an office on aging with local offices serving the elderly population in their cities. This program was established under the Older Americans Act of 1965, which was part of Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society program. The states have local offices in the cities, and the network provides funding for such things as nutrition and health issues, along with elder rights programs.

These offices also have teams of ombudsmen, responsible for protecting the elderly from every form of abuse.  A full-time ombudsman directs the team, and one of the things members of the team do is to visit senior care residences and inform the residents of their rights. Not only do they provide in writing some of their principles, but they listen to the residents’ stories about life in the community.  They stand ready to defend the rights of every resident to be treated with courtesy and respected as a person of worth and dignity, as well as to be served according to the terms of their signed contract.

Because of this program, the elderly in long-term care communities may be more protected than those who are living with family. The sad truth is that in many families adult offspring of the elderly suspect a sibling of spending their parent’s money for their own benefit instead of providing food and medicine the parent needs. The sadder truth is that these suspicions are often true.

In an elder-care home every resident has a contract, the right to know and understand its terms and the right to expect its promises to be fulfilled.  And one of the duties of an ombudsman is to educate residents and their families about these rights. They can and often do go door to door in care homes and visit the residents to inform them of available services and listen to their complaints. Becoming aware of issues that need attention, they can then advocate for the elderly.

This service is greatly needed, especially because we elderly people are often reticent to complain, not wanting to be troublemakers. After all, we are somehow dependent on the people we want to criticize. We may not even connect our problems to our “rights.” And, frankly, some of us are too tired to struggle.

This truth reminds me of our little granddaughter’s question when she heard that Grandma and Grandpa were now retired. She asked her mother, “What does retired mean? That they are very tired and don’t want to work anymore?” Exactly! We are, at times, happy for someone else to fight our battles.

Another thing the ombudsmen often do in retirement homes is to support the development of resident councils where these do not exist. In regular council meetings residents have the opportunity to receive information relative to services and activities of the community and discuss with one another perceived problems and solutions. The right to voice grievances and recommend changes in policy is one of the rights guaranteed under the Older Americans Act, and such meetings create rapport between residents and administrators, while giving residents a share of responsibility for the well-being of the community. Together we are strong. That’s one of the beauties of a home for the aged.

None of this means that family is no longer essential. The administration of the home for the elderly will want to know the name and contact information of a power of attorney, someone with legal responsibility for the elder member’s personal affairs, someone who can be called if there is a problem or some further decision needs to be made about their care in the community. Normally this responsibility is in the hands of a son or daughter.  With this responsibility goes the right to intervene if the elderly resident is not properly cared for or the signed contract is not fulfilled.

And, of course, the elderly resident will remain emotionally tied to family. No bought service can ever cancel the human need to be remembered by someone who loves us and misses us. Nor can the comfort and safety of an institution which serves their physical needs subtract from the right of elderly parents to the personal attention and respect of the family they raised.

At the same time the retirement community lightens the burden of family while the state’s implementation of the Older Americans Act assures the resident’s freedom and specific legal rights.